Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or you can’t, you’re right” and he was right. The words we use set the limits to our lives and this especially includes the words we think.
Simply put, your thoughts can change your life.
Negative thinking is like junk food. It’s easy to get but holds no nutritional value. If we consume too much junk food, we will feel horrible and be sick. In fact, we may be so used to negative thinking, we may think that it’s the only way to live. When I was caught in negative thinking for years, I was so attached to it that if anyone challenged me I got angry and accused him or her of not “honoring my pain.”
It seems silly now because ultimately, I really didn’t want to feel bad. I wanted to be happy but just didn’t know how. If you are currently stuck in the pattern of negative thinking please know that you CAN change it. Granted, you may have had many painful experiences. That is not to be denied. Perhaps you have been betrayed, abandoned or hurt badly. Maybe you were abused or neglected as a child and that has colored your adulthood. I’m here to tell you – me too! I have been there – but came to a point in my life where I no longer wanted to be defined by my pain. I wanted to nurture the best in me, not the worst. I had to make a decision to leave the past in the past and transform it into something that could possibly help people. We who have suffered the most deserve the most joy! We can turn that poison into medicine and help heal the world – and us. If we stay stuck in our pain, we are continuing the patterns of the people who hurt us – except now WE’RE doing it! I think we deserve better.
Believe it or not, you actually CAN control your thoughts. Once you understand this, you are empowered to create the life you want. Consistency is the key. Changing any negative pattern is an ongoing process that we have to re-commit to every day. Rest assured that it gets easier over time. You will be amazed how your thoughts color your world.
Here are some proven ways to change negative thought patterns:
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I had a really bad day yesterday.
During my youngest cousin’s graduation party, I got into an argument with another cousin’s husband about politics. It got heated pretty fast but when he started to personally attack me, I felt my hands start to shake. The rest became a blur as I slammed my hand down, breaking a glass I was holding. I didn’t mean to break the glass, but it happened and added to the whole drama of the situation. I was ashamed, upset and disheartened so much that I was up all night feeling awful.
Coincidentally, I had taken the day off of work in advance to devote to getting this blog off the ground.
For lack of sleep, I ended up waking up quite late this morning and felt emotionally hung-over. The guilt was overwhelming. Who am I to write a blog about happiness? What a hypocrite!
It took me all day to remember that I am writing this blog, not because I am so “great” and have all the answers but because I need to consciously, actively focus on what works and stay on the right track. It is a fact that whatever we focus on expands. This being the case, I created this blog as a tool to help focus me on the solution rather than the problem. Making mistakes is part of the process. We all have heard the famous Thomas Edison quote about the struggles he encountered while creating the electric light bulb. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10, 000 ways that won’t work.” There is no failure unless I give up.
There is another weird thing that happens when we try to lift our life condition – negative forces seem to pop up everywhere. I am not equating my cousin’s husband as a negative force; I am referring to the negative forces inside.
The truth is, I didn’t have to react to what he was saying. I could have walked away. What scared me is that it happened so fast. It almost seemed like I was drawn in like the Millennium Falcon caught in the Death Star’s tractor beam.
Let me digress for a minute and lay it on the table- I have an anger problem. A friend once asked, “why are you so angry?” “That’s like asking a fish, ‘why do you swim?’” I replied.
