If you’re one of the 20 million Americans diagnosed with depression, you know how fruitless it is to tell someone one the low end of a downward spiral to just “cheer up.” Trust me. I’ve been there. I suffered for many years with severe depression at times and just your every day blues (otherwise known as Dysthymia) on “good” days. The truth is that I got to the point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and was blessed with a moment of clarity in which I realized that the missing ingredient of my internal search for happiness was “action.”
I had to take responsibility for my happiness. One thing I did for a very long time was blame my parents’ lousy parenting techniques for my miserable state of mind. Even if I had good reason for resentment, it really didn’t matter in the scheme of my happiness. Blaming my parents for my less-than-wonderful childhood kept me locked in the past and wasn’t contributing anything positive to my quality of life in the present. In my search free myself from the chains of the past, I read countless self-help books about “letting go” and “overcoming anger” but nothing worked. You know why? Because I didn’t put any of the things I learned into action. Knowledge is only half the battle. Having a blueprint to build a house is of no use unless a you pick up the hammer and nails and gets to work.
Random Facts About Positive Thinking.
I don’t know anyone who spends more time and effort on maintaining a positive attitude than myself. I’m not patting myself on the back, but just stating a fact. And it’s not out of any virtue that I must exert so much effort on a how to be happy, it is purely out of necessity. In the past, I lived many days of my life in emotional, psychological and spiritual pain. I am fortunate enough to have survived those years where I was my own worst enemy. The only reason I am able to enjoy my life today is because I finally understood that my thoughts were killing me and took action to change them.
Sometimes, I wish I could be like other people and merely “just be happy.”
But I am not like other people. I am not a naturally happy person… I mean… I do believe that I was born happy but I grew up in a violent and dysfunctional household and therefore negativity became my knee-jerk reaction to life. I am not saying that to point fingers or to get sympathy although I did that for many years. For years, I used my dysfunctional childhood as a crutch that I beat everyone over the head with when they challenged my negativity or bad behavior. I also used it as an excuse to not do anything about my life. I felt powerless. On the ship of happiness I wasn’t a member of the crew, or even a passenger, but merely dead weight in the hold.
Understanding that negativity is a habit that diminished the quality of my life finally gave me the freedom to do something about it – but there is work to be done.
Just like a diabetic must monitor their diet and take insulin, I must monitor my thoughts and behavior. A diabetic might curse their fate, wishing that they didn’t have to be so vigilant. But as long as they continue to maintain their life saving routine, they will continue to feel the healthy benefits.
