I was just talking to a friend who is going through a divorce. She chose to leave her husband due to his inability to follow through on his commitment to his personal recovery from sex addiction and substance abuse. His pattern would be one of letting the addiction get the better of him which, in turn, would negatively affect everything in his life. He then would become so beaten he would crawl into a treatment center looking for help. He would come out of rehab with the best intentions and strictly follow a recovery action plan. Eventually, when he started feeling really good and reaping the benefits of recovery, the action plan would slack off. Insidiously, the old behaviors would creep in with the inevitable end would be relapse. The whole cycle would start all over again.
Commitment and re-commitment is the key. It’s the same reason most diets fail. We decide we want to lose weight so we start the diet with the greatest enthusiasm, but eventually the enthusiasm wanes. This is where we are at a crossroad – go on and make this diet a “lifestyle” or take the easy way – the familiar way – and settle.
When working on ourselves, we are never “done.” Yesterday’s recovery won’t count today if we don’t continue the actions that made today’s recovery possible. You know what I mean? Every day we are presented with a choice to re-commit to a positive way of life. Each day is a crossroad.
It’s not easy to always make the right choices. That’s why surrounding ourselves with positive allies is essential. When it gets too hard, we call on our allies to cheer us on. We don’t want friends that will join us in our “pity party.” We want friends who can lovingly remind us of our inherent value and our commitment to growth. Of course, this is a two way street. The same friend who talked you off the ledge today may be talking you off the ledge tomorrow. We can have bad days, just as long are we are always moving in the right direction.
Thankfully, we who are seeking happiness and a positive way of life have many resources from which to draw inspiration. We don’t have to “make it up” or come up with a whole new plan on our own. Many people have died miserable that way – too proud to take direction or ask for help. Here’s where we practice humility. We know that Albert Einstein did not come up with the Theory of Relativity in a vacuum – he drew on all the scientific discoveries and knowledge that came before him. Similarly, we can draw on all the knowledge of the spiritual seekers who came before us. You see, there are spiritual laws of the universe just like there are laws of physics. Water will always freeze at 32 degrees and happiness is a choice we make every day.
Here’s some tips from Anne Naylor writing for the Huffington Post:
The following 8 Gateways include links to previous posts for a happier and more rewarding life.
1. Act gratefully …
…. be thankful
Having a sense of gratitude is the foundation of a happy life. Being thankful has a way of communicating itself to others, sending a wave of happiness out into your world, which has a way of coming back to you.
10 Ways To Get More Energy By Being Thankful
Think of all the beauty that’s still left in and around you and be happy!
Anne Frank
2. Do what you really love to do …
… be true to yourself
Do you know what you do that makes you happy? Do more of it. Perhaps you have been a person who has tried to please others and conform to their notion of how to live a happy life.
You may march to the beat of another drummer. Fulfilment and happiness will come from honouring what is true for you. Your unique strengths are the aptitudes, gifts and talents with which you were born.
3 Tips To Awaken Your Life’s Passion
The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness.
You have to catch it yourself.
Ben Franklin
3. Connect with today’s opportunities for happiness …
… be open for a new day to dawn with fresh hope and inspiration
Each day holds the possibility for joy. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is low and 10 high, how do you rate your happiness now? If it is low, imagine turning the dial up and choose a higher level. What if when you start your day, you choose 9 on your dial. Try it and see what happens.
8 Ways To Connect For Greater Happiness
The really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery when on a detour.
Unknown
4. Act on your agreements and commitments …
… be complete
One of the keys in the post below has to do with clearing out deadwood, handling the agreements you have made so that they do not literally drag you down.
You know the kind of thing, you keep passing by the light bulb that needs changing. Or you keep meaning to clear out the garage. Or make an appointment with the optician. Or take the old clothes to the goodwill store.
Try dedicating half a day to completing some of those commitments. The chances are that you will feel very happy that you did.
3 Keys to Higher Love And Restoring Happiness
The essentials to happiness are something to love, something to do,
and something to hope for.
William Blake
5. Resolve old hurts, caused or received …
… be forgiving
Holding on to old hurts you have either inflicted (guilt or shame) or received (anger or resentment) can create a cloud of unhappiness around you.
Reconcile yourself to past pain, let it go and move on. Forgiveness is a process. It does not necessarily happen overnight. But it is within your control to choose to forgive; to be someone who is for-giving, both to yourself and others
How To Forgive – And Be Happy Now
He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.
Johann von Goethe
6. Contribute your talents, time and energy …
… be giving
Doing the most mundane tasks, such as stuffing envelopes, takes a weight off the organizer of a non-profit and can be a delightful time to hang out with others. No brain power required. Such activities can be therapeutic while they are useful.
What about a talent you love to use: painting and decorating, sewing or knitting, fundraising, acting, design, singing. To give freely what you love, while others benefit, expands your happiness.
How To Increase Your Joy Through Service
All who would win joy, must share it; happiness was born a twin.
Lord Byron
7. Have fun …
… be creative with the gift of your life
When times are tough, it may not always seem like it, but imagine your life is truly a gift. Use your imagination to be playful, to create the best your life can be in every circumstance.
5 Creative Ways To Pursue Your Passion
To live happily is an inward power of the soul.
Aristotle
8. Get to know who you truly are …
… be trusting
Your human spirit is remarkable beyond words. Who you are is indefinably connected with everyone else, and so is never abandoned. Our world is extraordinary, beautiful and blessed. Regular meditation can assist you to see it this way, and to trust in the process of life unfolding more perfectly than you could ever imagine. Be happy with just who you are.
12 Simple Steps To Meditate For Relaxation
There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Buddha
