One thing I can tell you from personal experience this and I’m sure we will all agree – change is hard. Another thing I know from experience is that change IS possible.

If you read the “About” section of this site, you will see that I was once an extremely negative and even suicidally depressed person. I also used to make a career out of getting high and escaping my problems. Today, I am off all drugs (including alcohol) and I am basically happy and enjoying my life. I’m not one of those hyper annoying types – where everything is awesome! I am a bit more realistic. My brand of happiness is a bit more realistic and I definitely have to work on it. I believe that all the years of negative thinking grooved a pathway in my brain that makes it easy to “go there.”

Today, I tune the negative station out and change the channel to something more positive. It is a choice that is actually very empowering – and a lot better than feeling like I a victim. So let me say again, change is possible. We just have to make a commitment to it. That commitment isn’t made just one time alone but has to be continuously renewed, sometimes on a daily basis. If it is a particularly challenging modification we want to make, or an especially ingrained negative habit we’ve been struggling with for a long time, that commitment may even have to be renewed hourly or even minute-by-minute.

The good thing is that chances are that others have went down that road before. It makes sense to seek out the experts and take the advise of people whose success you want to emulate.

I decided a long time ago that I didn’t have to figure everything out for myself. That was a very “freeing” experience. I used to be so stubborn and resistant to changing the behaviors in my life that were killing me because I had too much pride and wanted to figure everything out for myself. Pride really does come before the fall, as they say.

So now I read books by inspirational people, surround myself with positive people and consciously change the lenses through which I see the world.

That being the case, I’ve subscribed to many positive newsletters so, on those days where I I am having trouble seeing the glass half-full, I am forced to be reminded that I have a choice.

One of the best newsletters I subscribe to comes from ZenHabits.net. Created by Leo Babauta, ZenHabist.net is a site he describes as “about finding simplicity in the daily chaos of our lives.”

This week he had a great little article I wanted to share with you called:
The Habit Change Cheatsheet: 29 Ways to Successfully Ingrain a Behavior.

I can tell you from experience, that the tips offered in this article are ones I have used and continue to implement in my daily life.

Here’s some of those tips:

1. Do just one habit at a time. Extremely important. Habit change is difficult, even with just one habit. If you do more than one habit at a time, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Keep it simple, allow yourself to focus, and give yourself the best chance for success. Btw, this is why New Year’s resolutions often fail — people try to tackle more than one change at a time.

2. Start small. The smaller the better, because habit change is difficult, and trying to take on too much is a recipe for disaster. Want to exercise? Start with just 5-10 minutes. Want to wake up earlier? Try just 10 minutes earlier for now. Or consider half habits.

3. Do a 30-day Challenge. In my experience, it takes about 30 days to change a habit, if you’re focused and consistent. This is a round number and will vary from person to person and habit to habit. Often you’ll read a magical “21 days” to change a habit, but this is a myth with no evidence. Seriously — try to find the evidence from a scientific study for this. A more recent study shows that 66 days is a better number (read more). But 30 days is a good number to get you started. Your challenge: stick with a habit every day for 30 days, and post your daily progress updates to a forum.

4. Write it down. Just saying you’re going to change the habit is not enough of a commitment. You need to actually write it down, on paper. Write what habit you’re going to change.

5. Make a plan. While you’re writing, also write down a plan. This will ensure you’re really prepared. The plan should include your reasons (motivations) for changing, obstacles, triggers, support buddies, and other ways you’re going to make this a success. More on each of these below.

6. Know your motivations, and be sure they’re strong. Write them down in your plan. You have to be very clear why you’re doing this, and the benefits of doing it need to be clear in your head. If you’re just doing it for vanity, while that can be a good motivator, it’s not usually enough. We need something stronger. For me, I quit smoking for my wife and kids. I made a promise to them. I knew if I didn’t smoke, not only would they be without a husband and father, but they’d be more likely to smoke themselves (my wife was a smoker and quit with me).

7. Don’t start right away. In your plan, write down a start date. Maybe a week or two from the date you start writing out the plan. When you start right away (like today), you are not giving the plan the seriousness it deserves. When you have a “Quit Date” or “Start Date”, it gives that date an air of significance. Tell everyone about your quit date (or start date). Put it up on your wall or computer desktop. Make this a Big Day. It builds up anticipation and excitement, and helps you to prepare.

8. Write down all your obstacles. If you’ve tried this habit change before (odds are you have), you’ve likely failed. Reflect on those failures, and figure out what stopped you from succeeding. Write down every obstacle that’s happened to you, and others that are likely to happen. Then write down how you plan to overcome them. That’s the key: write down your solution before the obstacles arrive, so you’re prepared.

9. Identify your triggers. What situations trigger your current habit? For the smoking habit, for example, triggers might include waking in the morning, having coffee, drinking alcohol, stressful meetings, going out with friends, driving, etc. Most habits have multiple triggers. Identify all of them and write them in your plan.

10. For every single trigger, identify a positive habit you’re going to do instead. When you first wake in the morning, instead of smoking, what will you do? What about when you get stressed? When you go out with friends? Some positive habits could include: exercise, meditation, deep breathing, organizing, decluttering, and more.

11. Plan a support system. Who will you turn to when you have a strong urge? Write these people into your plan. Support forums online are a great tool as well — I used a smoking cessation forum on about.com when I quit smoking, and it really helped. Don’t underestimate the power of support — it’s really important.

12. Ask for help. Get your family and friends and co-workers to support you. Ask them for their help, and let them know how important this is. Find an AA group in your area. Join online forums where people are trying to quit. When you have really strong urges or a really difficult time, call on your support network for help. Don’t smoke a cigarette, for example, without posting to your online quit forum. Don’t have a drop of alcohol before calling your AA buddy.

13. Become aware of self-talk. You talk to yourself, in your head, all the time — but often we’re not aware of these thoughts. Start listening. These thoughts can derail any habit change, any goal. Often they’re negative: “I can’t do this. This is too difficult. Why am I putting myself through this? How bad is this for me anyway? I’m not strong enough. I don’t have enough discipline. I suck.” It’s important to know you’re doing this.

Click here for the rest of the tips and to sign up for the ZenHabits.net newsletter.

Thanks,